Why...

Why am I always here,
Writing about all the pondering,
About all the yearning within?
It's Valentine's day tomorrow,
And I can't help looking
At the loneliness of my hands.

Why am I always caught,
Hesitant about crossing the gap,
To pause at the open doors,
And to test the other locked ones?
Then to stop the open from closing
Only to have them slam shut.

Why is there always a battle,
Between logic and feelings,
To find caution mixed with eagerness,
Or perhaps it is plain longing,
Surging and crashing against reason;
Tumultuous waves slamming against a rocky cliff.

Why...