The one who smiles the most, maybe the one who cries to sleep at night...

A saying goes, "the one who smiles the most, maybe the one who cries to sleep at night". The loneliness at night is terrible sometimes. Who can I turn to for comfort, someone I can hold and hug? I need a hug bad. Haven't been hugged in 2 years. At least. But I am socially inept. And I try to hide myself, my past and current from people. The rejections, and turning away of faces, makes me ashamed of me. Then, without close friends and family, without a career or savings, with nothing, who would accept me? Well, at least God loves me.

Got a good bro, but he's in the hospital at the moment, and he's got his family, job and other stuff. So he can't be there when I need someone. And he's happy. He's optimistic. Feel terrible off-loading my concerns to him. Just want a person to talk to, to confide to. Especially in the evenings and quiet of night.

I need a hug...