Half Full Glass

I know that I'm not supposed to feel this way,
To see the glass half empty.
But I cannot help it, when I look around,
To see what others have.

I see things that people take for granted,
The family and love,
What I'd give to have all those hugs,
Even an average one will do.

Why can't I see the glass as half full?
Still I know I need to believe,
Isn't faith all that one needs to carry on?
Half a glass is all that is,
But that half is such a big difference:
So why can't I see the glass as half full,
What do I need, to see it so?

I know that there will always be worse
Stories beyond tears,
I try my best to count the blessings,
Hoping to see the brightness in them.

What I would give if I could change things,
To rewrite my history,
All the shame, grief and despair: the darkness,
And remove the need to hide.

Why can't I see the glass as half full?
Still I know I need to believe,
Isn't faith all that one needs to carry on?
Half a glass is all that is,
But that half is such a big difference:
So why can't I see the glass as half full,
What do I need, to see it so?

And maybe like all those stories,
Of great testings,
That from them shall arise a victor,
Triumphing over the impossible...

Reminiscence

Maybe I was not ready for love.
For a time, I admit I was not.
Then for a time I thought I was.
Now I'm not sure, but pray I am.

I've grown comfortable with myself.
My schedule surrounds me tightly.
There is barely room for another,
And I wonder, am I suffocating myself.

I thought I knew what I wanted,
But history has shown naught.
Yet this day, a little clearer, a little wiser.
And I hope I do so now.

The lessons showed me flaws,
But they also showed me my strengths.
They caused me to fall,
But showed me that I could get up again.

Bygones collect dust over the years,
Like frames forgotten and shelved,
Yet they still stay around,
In a small little space on the mantle.

Why...

Why am I always here,
Writing about all the pondering,
About all the yearning within?
It's Valentine's day tomorrow,
And I can't help looking
At the loneliness of my hands.

Why am I always caught,
Hesitant about crossing the gap,
To pause at the open doors,
And to test the other locked ones?
Then to stop the open from closing
Only to have them slam shut.

Why is there always a battle,
Between logic and feelings,
To find caution mixed with eagerness,
Or perhaps it is plain longing,
Surging and crashing against reason;
Tumultuous waves slamming against a rocky cliff.

Why...

Lonely, Lonely, Lonely

Shrugging of the cold Sunday night wind,
Trying to focus on the work at hand.
Can't help thinking of today and the coming week,
Can't help feeling, I need a hug.

It's lonely, lonely, lonely,
Beneath all the strength and push,
There's something that I want that isn't here,
Or is it somebody, oh I ain't so sure,
Gotta keep moving on, looking ahead,
Trying to live and not just survive,
Ignoring and pushing off the starkness within.

Might have been better if the high wasn't there,
Asking myself if I'm just pretending,
For all the messing around and drinking,
Digging deep and checking for the real me,

It's lonely, lonely, lonely,
Beneath all the strength and push,
There's something that I want that isn't here,
Or is it somebody, oh I ain't so sure,
Gotta keep moving on, looking ahead,
Trying to live and not just survive,
Ignoring and pushing off the starkness within.

It's still a battle I guess, despite all the calm,

Deep within trying to rest and let go,

The contradictory silence,

The broken singleton within.

Mixed Signals

In the middle of the night
I'm tossing and turning
I cant sleep with my head spinning
I cant rest when my heart's crying.

She pushes then she pulls,
She smiles then she scowls,
I don't understand what's going on here.
I need a direction, a compass,
The fog's heavy and it aint lifting
I want out but i want in,
O, The confusion of her mixed signals.

I'm thinkin real hard,
Tryin to make sense of it all,
Seeking for the glow of comprehension
And the peace of the matter.

She pushes then she pulls,
She smiles then she scowls,
I don't understand what's going on here.
I need a direction, a compass,
The fog's heavy and it aint lifting
I want out but i want in,
O, The confusion of her mixed signals.

I thought this, I hoped that,
Figuring out her isnt my best,
Cant she see this torment she put me in?
Does she not know im writhing within?

Hot then cold is the worst,
It cracks the hardest rock,
It shreds teh toughest metal,
Where do i get the strength to weather this,
Why do i continue blindly for this
When i fear that it maybe unrequited and for naught?

She pushes then she pulls,
She smiles then she scowls,
I don't understand what's going on here.
I need a direction, a compass,
The fog's heavy and it aint lifting
I want out but i want in,
O, The confusion of her mixed signals.

@->-- Wei Min

I Love You

I love you, with no idea how,
Nor from whence and where.
But I feel that destiny calls,
And we are meant to be.

To be with you is always a joy,
Though I have only seen
Your sparkling smile
And beautiful radiant person.

Because I would love to be,
The one whom you rely on,
The one whom you cry upon,
The one who will love you no matter what.

I will embrace you through your joys
And lift you up when you tear,
I will give you all that I have,
And find more if you need it.

I am not perfect, not at all,
I am not always correct,
I will surely upset and disappoint,
But please forgive me each time I fail.

Please know that for all my rights and wrongs,
My intention is never to hurt you,
Only to love you each and everyday
To be there for you now and always.

I love you, with no idea how,
Nor from whence and where,
But in the deepest parts of my heart,
I love you, I love you, I love you.

@->--- Wei Min

Hope of the New Year

It's a beautiful new year,

Looking ahead to the good,

Bracing in faith against the bad.

Above all hoping for her to be mine.

Been a while since I've seen her,

Really want to hear her voice

The sweet tones that vibrate

The deepest parts of my heart.

Thinking of her, praying,

Hoping that I'd not mess up,

Longing for the chance to

Give my love and my all to her.

In the photos in her FB account,

Her smile sparkles without concealment,

The porcelain dress matching 

Her elegance, charm and radiance.

It's a beautiful new year,

Looking ahead to the good,

Bracing in faith against the bad.

Wondering when we'd hold hands.

@->--- Wei Min

I Miss Her

Reading her messages,
Repeating each line,
Imagining her saying it to me.
Wonder why I am so incompetent,
In reaching out to a gal's heart,
To her heart which seems to elude my grasp.

I do not understand her,
Trying my best to give to her,
Been alone too long,
Forgot how it was to consider and love.
Relearning lots of stuff,
Hopefully I will be in time.

I miss her a lot,
Hoping that no one before
And after will catch her eye.
But she probably doesn't know it,
Had the chance, but missed it.
Had the chance, but it slipped through.

I don't want to lose her,
Set my heart to fight for her,
To convince her that I love her,
Yet fearing that it will push her away,
Wondering whats the way,
If it would be too sudden if I just ask her out.

Reading her messages,
Praying really hard,
Thinking with my heart beyond rationale,
Trying to reach through,
Wanting to hold her,
Missing her so much.

@->--- Wei Min

Hold

I've been thinking,
Where to draw the line,
If things can be a bit more.
I don't understand,
What is right and when is wrong,
To not make things worse.

Oh, I know that I need to hold,
Hold myself from racing to you,
Not that you aren't good,
But because I don't want
To lose another friend.

I don't know much,
Especially when to toe the line,
I'm learning from those around.
I see them being caring,
And I want to care too,
But I don't know if you'd see it that way.

Oh, I know that I need to hold,
Hold myself from racing to you,
Not that you aren't good,
But because I don't want
To lose another friend.

I so hope for someone to be by me,
And I'd so like to just
Love and care for someone.
But I don't know what you are thinking,
I've trashed many friendships before,
Because of foolishness and gall,
So, I don't want to lose you,
At least I get to talk to you still,
Even if things are not meant to be.

Oh, I know that I need to hold,
Hold myself from racing to you,
Not that you aren't good,
But because I don't want
To lose another friend.

@->--- Wei Min