Everyone is asleep beneath whirring fans in the cool night air. Thoughts jumbled in my head and feelings swirling in my heart; there is noone i can speak to. Looking around, peaceful faces hiding beautiful dreams. So many years have passed and i feel like im two steps behind them in career, love n life.
I cannot understand, the purpose of my life and me, with all my weaknesses that noone understands, with stories that noone hears, with scars that noone soothes. I stand stoic, believing for the best and yet deep within, fearing the worst, that weird contradiction, so scared to open up - not that anyone would care.
The promise i made lingers: to live life n nt abandon it. Yet the desire for respite still tugs at me, and sometimes i wonder if im regressing from all that the Lord has molded me.
And in the darkness n solitude, i remember what i desire:
Love, warmth and acceptance;
Hugs frm plain ol' relationships.
To trust n be trusted,
To love and be loved in return.
Oh how my soul weeps 😢😭
