I was an Option

I don't want to be an option.
I don't want to be one of the many
That your fickle selfish heart considers.
I want to be your choice to draw near;
I want to be your decision to care and love.
Just as I have decided to love you,
So I hope to be your only choice.

If I knew the flame was flickering
If only I had the courage
To step up and hold your hands,
Perhaps today would be different;
You would not be out there
With a dozen different suitors
But here loving me and loved by me.

If then I had grabbed every opportunity
If only I needn't have to relearn
How to respond to each hint
That you so carefully dropped;
Then I won't have to miss you quietly,
I won't have to smile even
When it hurts inside to see you out there.

I don't want to be an option.
I don't want to be one of the many
That your fickle selfish heart considers.
I want to be your choice to draw near;
I want to be your decision to care and love.
Just as I have decided to love you,

So I hope to be your only choice.
I can tell that you do still have feelings,
Even though if it were a drop.
I know that you still care for me,
That there is indeed chemistry between us.
So why won't you admit and stop pretending,
When you already know my feelings?
Why test my persistence and your apathy?

I don't want to be an option.
I don't want to be one of the many
That your fickle selfish heart considers.
I want to be your choice to draw near;
I want to be your decision to care and love.
Just as I have decided to love you,
So I hope to be your only choice.


But you still chose to be out there.
So I will warm my frozen heart

And learn from our sweet interactions
And I will give my love and care
To someone to whom I am not an option,
To someone who will make me
Her choice, her love, her life.

I've Got a Friend

I've got a friend.
I thought I didn't.
Someone who will talk to me.
A good bro who listens to me.
A good pal who shares with me.

I've got a friend.
I thought I didn't.
Someone who I thought was lost.
A good sis who listens to me.
A good soulmate who shares with me.

I've got a friend.
I thought I didn't.
Someone who provided for me.
A good bro who gave to me.
A good kin who I treasure within me.

I've got a friend.
And I thought I didn't.

Those Walls

I've built the fort so high,

That I can't see over them.

I only hear the waves of loneliness

Surging and crashing against its outside;

No longer am I inudated.

But I am now separated from the warmth of touch

That cannot penetrate to me.

I've built the walls so thick

That I can't see through them.

I only see the blue clearing skies above

Forgetting the clouds that surrounded me;

No longer am I in darkness.

But I am now blinded to the beauty of the coming dawn

Taking place behind those walls.

Oh oh, I have forgotten how it is to be loved,

And to love in return.

Oh oh, I have forgotten how it is to be touched,

And to touch in return.

I need to tear down these walls of mine,

To reach out to her waiting outside,

Before she turns and walks away.

I've walled myself in so thick,

That I can't feel through them.

I see the emotions evaporating

The wisps and vestiges of my haunted past;

While I feel no pain and cold,

I feel no love and warmth; but numbness

That now permeates me.

Oh oh, I have forgotten how it is to be loved,

And to love in return.

Oh oh, I have forgotten how it is to be touched,

And to touch in return.

I need to tear down these walls of mine,

To reach out to her waiting outside,

Before she turns and walks away.

I gotta relearn how to give and love,

I gotta relearn how to wait and smile,

I gotta relearn how to be vulnerable;

All these I have forgotten,

Yet I hope that they still reside within me.

But how much time do I have,

As opportunities slip by me...

Oh oh, I have forgotten how it is to be loved,

And to love in return.

Oh oh, I have forgotten how it is to be touched,

And to touch in return.

I need to tear down these walls of mine,

To reach out to her waiting outside,

Before she turns and walks away.

It's 3am

It’s 3 am, I’m listening to an acoustic cover,

And I’m just thinking of you…

I ain’t gonna hide it from you,

But you’ve been on my mind for a heck of a time.

Sure we ain’t known each other long,

But gosh, would you know, that it seems

That I’ve loved you for much much more.

And I’d just thought that I’d let you know:

That I may be dumb,

That I may not catch all the subtle signs,

But I am really into you.

That I may not know how to say things

That I may fumble and fall,

But if it’s for you, it’s worth all of it.

Sure, I ain’t got my shit together.

I’ve got scars from long ago,

And though they don’t hurt anymore,

There’s much I need to relearn.

Give me a chance,

Oh, please tell me that you would still look my way…

And I’d just thought that I’d let you know:

That I may be dumb,

That I may not catch all the subtle signs,

But I am really into you.

That I may not know how to say things

That I may fumble and fall,

But if it’s for you, it’s worth all of it.

Don’t see me still and confident with you,

There’s a nervous and eager one inside;

I’d love to watch those dramas,

And go shopping with you; just don’t mind my taste

And I know you’d be fine without me,

But I can’t imagine a day without you….

So I’d just thought that I’d let you know:

That I may be dumb,

That I may not catch all the subtle signs,

But I am really into you.

That I may not know how to say things

That I may fumble and fall,

But if it’s for you, it’s worth all of it.

It’s 3 am, I’m listening to an acoustic cover,

And I’m just thinking of you…