Spiteful Sorrow

Where is the hope?
When all man fails you;
Even they who say they love you?

Where is the hug?
Where is the loving touch;
Just one from that one special person?

Why. Why. Why.
When is it my turn?
When do I get my hug?

Why. Why. Why.
That my nights are lonely?
That I hear only my voice?

Why. Why. Why.
That I can't stand?
That I need someone so much?

Where is the love?
Where is that warmth;
Just to fill me whole and within?

I Hear Only Myself

Back at home in the night,
It was a long active day,
Yet now I sit by myself,
With only my voice to accompany the silence.

And so I sing in my soul,
To fill that loneliness within,
And so I sing in my spirit,
To accompany its lonely dance,
And so I sing - and I hear only myself.

When I see others,
I wonder about them,
About what they are going through,
And whether is any like me,

And so I sing in my soul,
To fill that loneliness for tomorrow,
And so I sing in my spirit
To buoy its twirl with hope,
And so I sing - but I hear only myself.

Then there were those,
But the fear of rejection and
The fear of a broken heart
Kept me all to myself.

Oh why why why that I have to be me,
To be given such a lot. to be dealt as such,
I cannot see the morning, I cannot see the day,
The hope flickering like a dancing flame

And so I sing in my soul,
Grasping for sanity within,
And so I sing in my spirit,
Praying for someone to join its sway,
And so I sing - still I hear only myself.

Outpouring [i]

The nights are lonely,
The silence piercing,
The songs of love mesmerizing,
Yet so painful: when I look in and see,
A lovelorn vessel,
Hoping to love and be loved.

The roads are abrasive,
The history condemning,
The soul and spirit broken,
Yet so hopeful: when I look in and see,
A rejected vessel,
Hoping to embrace and be accepted.

The heart is sobbing,
The emptiness seeking,
The seed longing to have the sun's warmth
Yet so frightened to leave
The frigid winter snows,
To be nourished, to become a rose

- Listening to "The Rose" @->---

Missing Love. Missing Being Loved.

There's an emptiness within;
A starless sky,
A moonless night,
Seeking the light of love
To illuminate the darkness.

There's a desert within;
A parched ground,
A cracked river bed,
Seeking the waters of love
To revive the withering tree.

I miss love;
I miss being loved.
I miss hugging.
I miss being hugged.
I won't miss being single,
Because loneliness is all I ever knew.

There's a chasm within;
A yawning canyon,
An unfathomable valley,
Seeking the bridge of love
To cross over to the coming dawn...

The Night Butterfly

Torn wings straining against the winds,

Dripping glistening crystals of tears;

Fluttering across the blooming meadow,

Seeking rest on the petals that would receive.

Struggling blind in the night of rejection and fear,

Worn feelers searching the empty loneliness,

Broken feet longing to brush against acceptance;

Seeking warmth from the prismatic irradiance below.

Within the tumultuous winds, it continues

Exhausted and despairing, yet alive and hoping;

To be embraced by just a single bloom,

To not falter and become one with the soil below.

Alone.

Today was the first day of the practice for the varsity ballroom team. And in the introductory dances, people would soon form partnerships that would last them, hopefully, until graduation. And perhaps, some even beyond. I wonder if the young eighteen-nineteen ladies would be alright if their partner just entered his thirties. Maybe not, if the social stereotype goes. I wonder, if that is why a colleague just decided to leave early...